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Test Drive: Something a bit faster than the 2.0T Jetta
For the people who read my driving impressions of the new 2.0T Jetta, you'll know that its performance, while admirable, didn't exactly blow my skirt up. Tonight I got to drive a car that did.
Sure, the car I drove tonight has a 276 hp advantage over the 2.0T and something like 315 lb/ft of torque more than the 4-banger's 200, but that didn't prepare me for what the thing actually felt like at full beans with a soundtrack reminiscent of gattling gun! J-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-sus! I wanted to crap my pants but I was too damned puckered to do so!
The Mercedes-Benz E55 is fcuking brilliant!
Let me back it up a bit here.... Tonight I got to join my dad to check out a silver E55 that Lonestar had in stock. He's been seriously considering a Porsche but decided against it as an all-weather car and he likes the E90 M5 but hates the 2 year waiting list and so in a serendipitous moment he revisited his old flame, the E55.
Stepping out of an E500 sport and into the E55, you'd swear that they were too different breeds. Actually, you simply swear in general as the seats hug your torso in a decidedly intimate way. "Christ almighty! I feel like I'm back in the womb!" was muttered at one point, I believe. The switchgear and fascia is all familiar E-class save for a beefier wheel and 320km/h speedo, but there was definitely an intangible feeling of it being "more". Before the key was even close to the ignition I felt my pulse rate increase. This is truly a special car.
When the key finally did find the ignition, my ears were treated to a much more substantial 'woof' than I was expecting. I had read that the E55 had a much quieter exhaust than that of it's SL sibling, but to me it sounded perfek! There is only a whisper of supercharger whine while inside the cabin, too, which was another pleasant surprise. Once we set off it fell into a hushed attitude, however, there was always this electric feeling of it being poised on its tiptoes ready for an all-out g-force assault.
Out on the road we broke free from traffic and that's when I discovered what 515 lb/ft of torque feels like. With the throttle pinned to the floor it felt like I was being punched in the back and slapped in the face all at once. Simply magic. I tore my gaze from the road ahead and took a look at the guages and was astonished to see that the speedometer and tach needles were in almost perfect accord - the speedometer needle racing around the dial as fast as the sodding rpms!! "Blood and sand!", as my father so eloquently put it.
Now, that was a treat all in itself, but when I was given a go behind the wheel I felt like I was getting Christmas, my birthday, and a lap dance all in one! I must remember to say a prayer tonight to thank the Almighty - if not to apologize for all the blasphemous sentiments my mouth expelled during this 30-minute outing. "Christ on a c-r-u-t-c-h, I cannotfcukingbelievehowfastthisfucking...jesuuuuus it keeps on going!"
If the acceleration was spectacular, the brakes were nothing short of inhuman! I had stated in my post about the Jetta that I felt the brakes were a bit spongey and began to fade hauling down from 160km/h, but this Merc tore us down from 190(!) in less time than it takes to say "Phwwwwooooar Blimey!" Seriously, these brakes are incredible! Imagine, for a moment, that you are skydiving and your parachute not only opens but it snags itself on a giant hook. You're getting close to what it felt like. Once I've finished writing this I'm going to ice my collar bone; such is the braking force that the seatbelt threatens to slice right through you.
Oh, and the noise. Sweet hallelujah, the noise! I know I already said it sounded fantastic, but it is so pure and racous that it deserves to be stated again. This car sounds like all the best things in life, digitally mastered and played through a gajillion watt stereo and 150" sub. I can now begin to understand why some people are drawn to having sex with exhaust pipes (you know you have all seen that video floating around the Web).
Its massiver performance aside, i was truly impressed with this car beyond all others I've driven or ridden in. Not only will it thrash you around in good fun, but it cruises so sedately when you want it to, lapping up expansion joints and absorbing bumps with nary a protest. The suspension is genius, too. I realize that a Bimmer or Porsche will out-do it on a track, but I was floored by how well it composed itself through ultra-fast sweepers and tight bends.
I am now an AMG fan for life. If in some sick twist of fate my dad opts not to buy this car, I will shed more tears than all of the Katrina victims combined (ok, that might be a little harsh, but c'mon, "if we can't laugh at our adversities....").
Here are some piccies!
Sure, the car I drove tonight has a 276 hp advantage over the 2.0T and something like 315 lb/ft of torque more than the 4-banger's 200, but that didn't prepare me for what the thing actually felt like at full beans with a soundtrack reminiscent of gattling gun! J-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-sus! I wanted to crap my pants but I was too damned puckered to do so!
The Mercedes-Benz E55 is fcuking brilliant!
Let me back it up a bit here.... Tonight I got to join my dad to check out a silver E55 that Lonestar had in stock. He's been seriously considering a Porsche but decided against it as an all-weather car and he likes the E90 M5 but hates the 2 year waiting list and so in a serendipitous moment he revisited his old flame, the E55.
Stepping out of an E500 sport and into the E55, you'd swear that they were too different breeds. Actually, you simply swear in general as the seats hug your torso in a decidedly intimate way. "Christ almighty! I feel like I'm back in the womb!" was muttered at one point, I believe. The switchgear and fascia is all familiar E-class save for a beefier wheel and 320km/h speedo, but there was definitely an intangible feeling of it being "more". Before the key was even close to the ignition I felt my pulse rate increase. This is truly a special car.
When the key finally did find the ignition, my ears were treated to a much more substantial 'woof' than I was expecting. I had read that the E55 had a much quieter exhaust than that of it's SL sibling, but to me it sounded perfek! There is only a whisper of supercharger whine while inside the cabin, too, which was another pleasant surprise. Once we set off it fell into a hushed attitude, however, there was always this electric feeling of it being poised on its tiptoes ready for an all-out g-force assault.
Out on the road we broke free from traffic and that's when I discovered what 515 lb/ft of torque feels like. With the throttle pinned to the floor it felt like I was being punched in the back and slapped in the face all at once. Simply magic. I tore my gaze from the road ahead and took a look at the guages and was astonished to see that the speedometer and tach needles were in almost perfect accord - the speedometer needle racing around the dial as fast as the sodding rpms!! "Blood and sand!", as my father so eloquently put it.
Now, that was a treat all in itself, but when I was given a go behind the wheel I felt like I was getting Christmas, my birthday, and a lap dance all in one! I must remember to say a prayer tonight to thank the Almighty - if not to apologize for all the blasphemous sentiments my mouth expelled during this 30-minute outing. "Christ on a c-r-u-t-c-h, I cannotfcukingbelievehowfastthisfucking...jesuuuuus it keeps on going!"
If the acceleration was spectacular, the brakes were nothing short of inhuman! I had stated in my post about the Jetta that I felt the brakes were a bit spongey and began to fade hauling down from 160km/h, but this Merc tore us down from 190(!) in less time than it takes to say "Phwwwwooooar Blimey!" Seriously, these brakes are incredible! Imagine, for a moment, that you are skydiving and your parachute not only opens but it snags itself on a giant hook. You're getting close to what it felt like. Once I've finished writing this I'm going to ice my collar bone; such is the braking force that the seatbelt threatens to slice right through you.
Oh, and the noise. Sweet hallelujah, the noise! I know I already said it sounded fantastic, but it is so pure and racous that it deserves to be stated again. This car sounds like all the best things in life, digitally mastered and played through a gajillion watt stereo and 150" sub. I can now begin to understand why some people are drawn to having sex with exhaust pipes (you know you have all seen that video floating around the Web).
Its massiver performance aside, i was truly impressed with this car beyond all others I've driven or ridden in. Not only will it thrash you around in good fun, but it cruises so sedately when you want it to, lapping up expansion joints and absorbing bumps with nary a protest. The suspension is genius, too. I realize that a Bimmer or Porsche will out-do it on a track, but I was floored by how well it composed itself through ultra-fast sweepers and tight bends.
I am now an AMG fan for life. If in some sick twist of fate my dad opts not to buy this car, I will shed more tears than all of the Katrina victims combined (ok, that might be a little harsh, but c'mon, "if we can't laugh at our adversities....").
Here are some piccies!
. I have had the pleasure of driving an SL65 AMG, and therefore can relate to your enjoyment....what that power must feel like in a sedan though..... 
I think the engine is the size of my car 
FIRST TO MOD THE MKV 
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