Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

I think this is hilarious.

[Duby T]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

Question: Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus?




Answer: Your wife always blows the bonus

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

LOLLLLL way to raunchy for TV

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

You can say that again!

[VWSM]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said,"You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs.Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said.

She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud: "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"

There was a hush, you could hear a pin drop.

Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I told you a hundred times...What we have is

Blue Cross!"

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

A good chuckle in the morning, once again thanks Paul.

Jacked from the lol bump! thread on Fortutide, the caption was:

"Moose Knuckle…its a Canada thing"

[The Brice]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

HAH!!!

[VWSM]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

Hollywood Squares:

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..


Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

Baahah!

[VWSM]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and then notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door." "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom to undress you and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, b*tch, I'm married!!!"

Broken table - $200

Hot breakfast - $5

Red Rose bud - $3

Two aspirins - $0.25

Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

An oldie but yet another gooder Paul. Keep 'em comin'!

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners … On the way out the door, the lady at the counter says "Come Again" … The blonde says "No, it's toothpaste this time you nosey *****".