Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[RONDAL]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

Well we all know you found it on Dubberz.

my brother actually

[Stonewall]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

That Kijiji ad was wicked!

[slhazy]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[boostedmk4]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

Hahahaha they beat the hell out of him!!

[outsider]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

> Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
>
> Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
> little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed
> to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
>
> WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
> Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the
> blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
>
> AWESOME!!!
>
> Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
>
> Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I
> sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed
> to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought
> better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some
> assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
>
> So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand,
> and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to
> cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish
> out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
>
> All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with
> two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my
> best.. .?
>
> I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst
> from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the
> prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
>
> HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
>
> I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over
> and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire,
> testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing
> sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my
> body flopping all over the living room.
>
> Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap
> yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst
> would be considered conservative?
>
> IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
>
> A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
> surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from
> where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and
> my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
>
> Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I
> believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
>
> P.S. My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
>
> If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

[RONDAL]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

Lol

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

Oldie, but forever a goodie!

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

hahahahah this is a repost but always make me laugh then feel bad

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[slhazy]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[vee_dubbin]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

^Get in my Belly!!!(fat bastard's accent) LMAO

[BaggedGLI]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[Satnam]

Re: Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW