Morning Joke.

[VWSM]

Only A Farm Kid.

When you're from the country you look at things a little differently.....

A Missouri farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm
and knocked at
the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is you Dad home?" the rancher asked.

"No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other and
mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely. "I know
where all the
tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to
your Dad. It's
about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he
finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500
for the bull and
$50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."

[R_Ethug]

Re: Morning Joke.

i dont' get it


here's a joke for you


michael j fox walks into an ice cream parlour

the kid working is so exited.. 'MR FOX!!! what flavour of ice cream do you want?"

micheal j fox replies.. it doesn't fuckingg matter i'm just going to drop it

[stefan]

Re: Morning Joke.

Only A Farm Kid.

When you're from the country you look at things a little differently.....

A Missouri farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm
and knocked at
the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is you Dad home?" the rancher asked.

"No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other and
mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely. "I know
where all the
tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to
your Dad. It's
about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he
finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500
for the bull and
$50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."

heheh

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Morning Joke.

That was a fantastic chuckle Paul!

[blueMoro]

Re: Morning Joke.

:-)

[Kane]

Re: Morning Joke.

haha breeding fee i lolzzz

[aliencurv]

Re: Morning Joke.

A grasshopper works into a bar

Bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you"

Grasshopper replied "You have a drink named Jim?"

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Morning Joke.

For being a short lame joke I really liked that last one aliencurv!

[onepointeightdub]

Re: Morning Joke.

Some people may be offended by these jokes so reader beware.
M.J. jokes - RIP Michael Jackson


Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: Did you know they’re putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.

Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

[VWSM]

Re: Morning Joke.

Girl asks a Priest for a favor.

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limit, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.”

“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”



The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!

[stefan]

Re: Morning Joke.

[VWSM]

Re: Morning Joke.

Check this out..Darwin Award for sure coming up.

[OET B7]

Re: Morning Joke.

I have a good one here to share:

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars .

But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a homo

[BaggedGLI]

Re: Morning Joke.

That was a good one.

[VW337]

Re: Morning Joke.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?

About 5 hours.


RIP