Tweet
Former UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner says he is broke, reduced to digging through his dirty laundry and his car for loose change to buy food.
"I've been eating tuna fish sandwiches for days now," Tanner says in a journal entry posted Thursday on his website .
His bottom line was exacerbated by a gambling binge in Las Vegas, a bid to increase what little stake he had left.
"I went at it for a week and a half, staying up all night, playing blackjack for 24 hours straight sometimes, forgetting to eat, not wanting to sleep," the mixed martial arts fighter wrote. "I would go on a streak, start winning, and start thinking that I would be able to make enough to get all my bills paid. Then I would lose it back, and then win again, and then lose it back, and win again, back and forth, back and forth for days.
"In the end, I lost not only what I had won, but the little bit I had started out with as well. So I spent a week and a half gambling, staying up all night, not eating, dealing with all of the emotional ups and down of winning and losing, and I don't have much to show for it, except that now I'm broke, I'm feeling really worn out, I'm a little depressed, and my sleep schedule is backwards."
The 37-year-old Texas native, who now calls Vegas home, says he has no regrets, however, saying he "had to laugh at himself."
"Now you may ask if I regret it, if I would do it differently if I could, if I would take it back. Not a chance! Oh, I feel a little depressed right now. I feel a little worn out physically. It does suck to have to scrape together pocket change to buy food. But I wouldn't take anything back.
"I went for it. I put it all on the line. I always will. I knew what the consequences would be if I failed, and I was willing to accept them. So any of you reading who might be feeling a twinge of sympathy, don't. I made my decisions, and I accept the consequences. I'm no victim. And to those who are thinking about preaching at me, don't bother. I won't hear you. I haven't accomplished anything in this life worth remembering by playing it safe. That's boring to me anyway."
Tanner (34-7) returned to action earlier this month, after an absence of almost two years. He was knocked out three minutes into the second round by Japan's Yushin Okami at UFC 82.
The former light-heavyweight dropped down a division and went on to win the vacant 185-pound UFC title in February 2005 when he defeated David Terrell. He lost the championship to Rich Franklin at UFC 53 in June 2005.
Tanner was beaten again four months later, suffering a TKO at the hands of Montreal's David Loiseau, before submitting Justin Levens at UFC 59 in April 2006 and then quitting the sport.
"I had some things going on in my personal life right at that time and after I got that fight done, ... I decided I just really needed some time off," he told The Canadian Press last month.
Tanner toured the U.S., often on his 1999 Harley-Davidson Softail. He didn't shave for eight months. He decided to return to the real world after his boat,, a 1939 Tahiti ketch sailboat, almost sank last fall down the coast of California.
Tanner made US$25,000 for the loss to Okami. A win and he would have doubled the payday.
"I'm completely broke. My bank account is negative," he wrote on his journal. "I got myself into a pretty deep hole in more ways than one, in the two years I took away from fighting. I started getting my life straightened out about five months ago. I signed the March 1 fight and began training. I had some very good friends help me out with some money and help me get settled down in Vegas so I could focus on training."
A win over Okami would have allowed him to pay off his debts and survive until his next fight payday, he said.
"What was most important to me, more important than my own comfort, was paying back the people that had helped me out, and paying off my obligations. It is nothing more than a man should do. I paid one month's rent, and one months bills, and put the rest toward paying off those debts. I took care of the ones I could, but I still owed thousands. I had a little bit left in my account, not enough to cover any of the outstanding bills, but enough to maybe put a little dent in at least one.
"But then it hit me, the thought that I could take what I had left down to the casino, and that maybe, just maybe I would get lucky, and make enough money to pay the last of my bills. That's what I did. I took my money down to the casino."
The gamble failed. But Tanner says he is looking at the positives.
"Great accomplishment only comes with great risk," he wrote. "I'll accept the crippling, gut-wrenching disappointment of risking all, and failing, but only by putting my whole heart and soul, my whole being into something, will I have the chance to walk among the stars."
"OK, enough of that," he added in his journal. "So here I am, broke, scraping together change for food, worn out, just lost a fight, etc, etc, but life is good. What fun would life be if there were no challenges. I have a fight lined up in the UFC for this summer. Team Tanner is going well. The drinking part of my life is in the past now. No struggles with that. I'm just done with it. Training is about to start picking up again, and summer weather is on the way. Everything is coming together.
"I hope life's good for everyone today."
A call to Tanner's cellphone Thursday resulted in a message saying the number had been changed, disconnected or was no longer in service.
"I've been eating tuna fish sandwiches for days now," Tanner says in a journal entry posted Thursday on his website .
His bottom line was exacerbated by a gambling binge in Las Vegas, a bid to increase what little stake he had left.
"I went at it for a week and a half, staying up all night, playing blackjack for 24 hours straight sometimes, forgetting to eat, not wanting to sleep," the mixed martial arts fighter wrote. "I would go on a streak, start winning, and start thinking that I would be able to make enough to get all my bills paid. Then I would lose it back, and then win again, and then lose it back, and win again, back and forth, back and forth for days.
"In the end, I lost not only what I had won, but the little bit I had started out with as well. So I spent a week and a half gambling, staying up all night, not eating, dealing with all of the emotional ups and down of winning and losing, and I don't have much to show for it, except that now I'm broke, I'm feeling really worn out, I'm a little depressed, and my sleep schedule is backwards."
The 37-year-old Texas native, who now calls Vegas home, says he has no regrets, however, saying he "had to laugh at himself."
"Now you may ask if I regret it, if I would do it differently if I could, if I would take it back. Not a chance! Oh, I feel a little depressed right now. I feel a little worn out physically. It does suck to have to scrape together pocket change to buy food. But I wouldn't take anything back.
"I went for it. I put it all on the line. I always will. I knew what the consequences would be if I failed, and I was willing to accept them. So any of you reading who might be feeling a twinge of sympathy, don't. I made my decisions, and I accept the consequences. I'm no victim. And to those who are thinking about preaching at me, don't bother. I won't hear you. I haven't accomplished anything in this life worth remembering by playing it safe. That's boring to me anyway."
Tanner (34-7) returned to action earlier this month, after an absence of almost two years. He was knocked out three minutes into the second round by Japan's Yushin Okami at UFC 82.
The former light-heavyweight dropped down a division and went on to win the vacant 185-pound UFC title in February 2005 when he defeated David Terrell. He lost the championship to Rich Franklin at UFC 53 in June 2005.
Tanner was beaten again four months later, suffering a TKO at the hands of Montreal's David Loiseau, before submitting Justin Levens at UFC 59 in April 2006 and then quitting the sport.
"I had some things going on in my personal life right at that time and after I got that fight done, ... I decided I just really needed some time off," he told The Canadian Press last month.
Tanner toured the U.S., often on his 1999 Harley-Davidson Softail. He didn't shave for eight months. He decided to return to the real world after his boat,, a 1939 Tahiti ketch sailboat, almost sank last fall down the coast of California.
Tanner made US$25,000 for the loss to Okami. A win and he would have doubled the payday.
"I'm completely broke. My bank account is negative," he wrote on his journal. "I got myself into a pretty deep hole in more ways than one, in the two years I took away from fighting. I started getting my life straightened out about five months ago. I signed the March 1 fight and began training. I had some very good friends help me out with some money and help me get settled down in Vegas so I could focus on training."
A win over Okami would have allowed him to pay off his debts and survive until his next fight payday, he said.
"What was most important to me, more important than my own comfort, was paying back the people that had helped me out, and paying off my obligations. It is nothing more than a man should do. I paid one month's rent, and one months bills, and put the rest toward paying off those debts. I took care of the ones I could, but I still owed thousands. I had a little bit left in my account, not enough to cover any of the outstanding bills, but enough to maybe put a little dent in at least one.
"But then it hit me, the thought that I could take what I had left down to the casino, and that maybe, just maybe I would get lucky, and make enough money to pay the last of my bills. That's what I did. I took my money down to the casino."
The gamble failed. But Tanner says he is looking at the positives.
"Great accomplishment only comes with great risk," he wrote. "I'll accept the crippling, gut-wrenching disappointment of risking all, and failing, but only by putting my whole heart and soul, my whole being into something, will I have the chance to walk among the stars."
"OK, enough of that," he added in his journal. "So here I am, broke, scraping together change for food, worn out, just lost a fight, etc, etc, but life is good. What fun would life be if there were no challenges. I have a fight lined up in the UFC for this summer. Team Tanner is going well. The drinking part of my life is in the past now. No struggles with that. I'm just done with it. Training is about to start picking up again, and summer weather is on the way. Everything is coming together.
"I hope life's good for everyone today."
A call to Tanner's cellphone Thursday resulted in a message saying the number had been changed, disconnected or was no longer in service.
Comment